You're Telling Me They're Real!
by All.I.Hear.Is.Green.Day
Summary: What happens when best friends Alyssa, Cammie, and Kendra find out that Twilight is not just they're favorite book. It's a world. The Cullen's are real. And they set off to find them.
1. Chapter 1

**AN. Okay, okay, I know almost _everyone _does one of these—where you write about your besties meeting the Twilight characters...well, this adds to the pile! My POV first:**

**Alyssa's POV:**

"Well, that concludes our show! You know what show?" I asked the camera, that me and one of my best friends, Cammie, did every Saturday after the game.

"The Aly and Cammie show!" Cammie screamed into her camcorder she had gotten for her birthday just to post this crap on YouTube.

"Yup! Bye!" I said to the camera, then shut it off. I turned to face Cammie.

"That was one heck of a show, babe," I complimented her.

"Ah, thanks I know!" she said. I went over to my laptop, turned it on, signed into my YouTube account, and uploaded the video.

"I'm gonna go change into my pajamas," I told Cammie. I went to my bathroom, pajamas in hand. Once my pajamas were on, I went back to my room to find Cammie still in her cheering uniform. I threw my uniform in the hamper. I walked up to Cammie and she just stood there with a slight smile on her face, her brown eyes were glassy and out of focus. I yanked on the back of her ponytail pulling at her dark hair. That snapped her out of her reverie.

"What was that for?" she screamed at me.

"To get your attention, smart one," I snapped back.

"Ugh, I was daydreaming about Edward until you interrupted me," she complained.

"Rawr," I said and made my hand like a claw, and pawed at her.

"Grr," she growled back. We both laughed. I grabbed my laptop and signed onto YouTube again. We started watching other Twilight spoofs. That's where our inspiration came from. We made both the "Aly and Cammie Show" and Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn spoofs as well. I got tired of YouTube for the moment, so I made a new tab and went to Google Images I typed in "Jackson Rathbone" and sifted though the pictures and sighed. I am _so_ Team Jasper. One of my friends at school addresses me as Mrs. Hale. Cammie is Team Switzerland. Little fart, I _hate_ Jacob. He's such a jerk. And I don't like Nessie either. One time I had let it slip to Cammie, that I didn't like Renesmee. She nearly strangled me. One of my other best friends—Kendra—Is Team Emmett. She loves Emmett, and she hasn't even read the books. She was _going_ to read them, but our _evil_ math teacher, Mrs. Dixon, said that she didn't ever want to see those books again. Just because they "were about vampires." When I told my dad about it he said, "If they were about cheeseburgers she wouldn't mind you reading it." I was weak off that, because Mrs. Dixon is _fat._ But still it really sucked that we couldn't bring the Twilight books to school, because one, I read them during Study Hall instead of doing my homework. And two, because one of my best guy friends, Caleb, wanted to read them. Don't ask. Yeah, my friends are _weird_, but I love 'em anyways!

My phone started singing Fences by Paramore. I grabbed it, the screen read "One new text message from Kendra" I pressed the button that would open the message.

_Hey grl, how's it goin?_

I slid open the message board and typed my message back.

_Oh, it's definitely going, Homes! Haha,hey ask your mom if she can drop you off at my place!_

I ran to my door and yelled out, "Momma, can Kendra come over?"

My mom yelled back "Sure," from downstairs. I turned back at sat Indian-style on my carpet as Cammie asked, "Kendra's coming over?"

"Most likely," I said. Just then my phone started ringing again.

_I'm on my way!_

"Yeah, she's coming," I said to Cammie.

***

When Kendra got here, we were in my room dancing to Kendra's iPod. Then an awesome idea struck me. Prank calls!

"Okay, let's prank call people!" I said, excitedly.

They were just as enthusiastic. Kendra handed me her cell phone I pressed star 67 and then pressed a lot of random numbers. It ran twice before a velvet voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hey Muffin-puffs! How was your day today?" I asked, barely succeeding in holding back the giggles.

"Um, fine, uh, who is this?" the velvet dude asked. "I like his voice," I mouthed to the girls. They clamped there hands over there mouths so they wouldn't give in to the laughter.

"Who am _I_?" I asked, my voice full of false surprise. "Don't ask silly questions! It's Bonquisha from 7th grade Home Ec! What did you get Amnesia or something?"

I was in seventh grade and we didn't have Home Ec, that was completely off the wall random. Like me!

"Well, I just called to let you know," I continued, "that for the chicken salad recipe, it's ¼ cup of mayonnaise, not 1/3."

"Look, I know this is a prank call," velvet dude said. I cursed in my head. Cammie grabbed the phone. And said to him, "Okay, listen up buddy, you may know that this is a prank call, but would it kill you to play along?!" she screamed. But before he had time to answer, Cammie yelled, "I'M A SHANK YOU!"

Me and Kendra started cracking up.

"Who _are_ you?" velvet dude asked, irritated. Kendra grabbed the phone and said in a really good imitation of Wendy Williams, "I'm Wendy, how you doing?"

Me and Cammie laughed really hard.

"Uh," velvet dude said, "Um, look I'll tell you who I am, if you tell me who _you_ are," he offered. I snatched the cell phone from Kendra.

"I already know who you are Muffin-puffs, and you know I'm Bonquisha!"

Awkward silence. Seriously I'm hearing crickets.

"And I'm...Medea!" Cammie yelled.

Velvet dude groaned.

"Jasper!" I heard a high-pitched voice, squeal in the background.

"Wait wait wait! Hold up! Back it up! Rewind!" I gasped. "Did someone just say Jasper?!"

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"Have you ever heard of a little something called, Twilight?"

"No,"

Me and Cammie both yelled, "You suck!"

"Well, I've got time to kill, what's Twilight?" velvet dude asked.

"It's the most _amazing_ book in the world! It's written by Stephenie Meyer, the greatest author in the world! Well, no, she ties with J.K. but other than that...yeah," I said.

"Well what's it about?"

"It's a romance novel about vampires!" Cammie said excitedly.

Kendra picked that moment to go "Dun, dun, duh!"

I laughed.

Velvet dude mutters something like, "Well, that's ironic."

Huh?

"Hey, well you and I both know that you know that this is a prank call. So...what's your name?" I asked him.

"Edward."

**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, well there's more to come! So, yeah, yup, sure, well, uh-huh!**

**Yeah, hope you liked it!**

**Uh, bye!**

**~_Alyssa!_**


	2. Robert freaking Pattinson

**AN Hey! In case you haven't found out by now, this is chapter two of my story! Wee! So um,oh yeah! Disclaimer! I almost forgot!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: I own Twilight and everything that has to do with it. I stole it from Mrs. Meyer!**

**Edward: Tell the truth. I know you don't own Twilight, I can read your mind!**

**Me: You can't read my mind! Snape taught me Occlumency! **

**Edward: (*Glares at me*)**

**Me: Fine, I don't own Twilight!**

**Cammie's POV:**

"Edward."

I couldn't help it. I screamed.

"Uh, yes?" Edward asked.

"I'm sorry," Kendra apologized for me, "She get's a little full of herself, when around that name."

"Why?"

Aly grabbed the phone. "Because the main male character in Twilight's name is Edward."

"Ah," Edward said.

"Yeah," I said a little shaky, "ah."

"So, hey, do you think we could meet up some time, I have some questions to ask you all?" Edward asked.

What. A. Freaking. Stalker.

Aly instantly denied. "Um, I don't think that would be best, uh, 'cause, ya know? We probably don't live anywhere near each other, and, uh, yeah...," she trailed off.

"Well, I happen to know that your on vacation in Forks, WA right now," Stalker, I mean Edward said.

We are all officially creeped out. Aly whispered, "How did he know that?" too low for him to hear.

"I'll tell you that when I see you, Alyssa."

Our eyes have _got_ to be as big as saucers right now.

"Um, most people call me Lyssa," Aly whispered.

I was glad she was the first to speak, because I was so freaked I could barely talk. But since I'm such a tension-breaker I say, "But I get to call her Aly,"

Kendra is frozen, staring at the phone. Aly notices and starts shaking her shoulders. She blinks twice, then coughs quietly.

"Kendra, you okay?" Edward asked.

"Uh, yeah I'm fine," Kendra whispers. Wow, she's really freaked.

"So anyway, your vacationing in Forks, and I _live_ in Forks, so how about I meet you guys at Newtons?" Edward suggested creepily.

"Wait! You _live _in Forks?" Aly asked.

"Yes."

"Holy crap!" Aly said. Isn't she so ladylike?

"What?"

"Edward lives in Forks, and _Edward_ lives in Forks...," she muttered to herself, "You don't think?...," she trailed off.

No, no, that's impossible. But how can something _so_ impossible make sense?

"Alyssa," Kendra started, "I don't think—" Aly cut her off.

"Then what else Kendra?" she snapped.

Edward spoke up again.

"I'm gonna go, but, I'll see you tomorrow at Newton's right?"

Aly and Kendra didn't say anything, so I just said, "Yeah, sure," then hung up.

We were sitting in the floor, in a circle, staring at each other.

Finally, Kendra said something.

"So, are we really going to see him?"

"I think we should," I said.

"I'm...debating," Aly said. Me and Kendra both stared at her.

"I think...," she said after what felt like hours, "we should give this a shot. If he looks creepy, then we'll leave, without saying anything. I mean how would he know what we look like? So he wouldn't know who we are anyway, right? Yeah, wow, we are in deep crap."

"You got that right," me and Kendra said at the same time. All three of us laughed.

"So we're doing this?" I asked.

"We're doing this," Aly said.

Well, in case one of decides to back out, well let's just say, I'm gonna make that impossible.

I stood up, and I then helped then up and we did our secret ankle swear-pinky swear-handshake thingy.

***

Aly's mom Christy, dropped us off at Newton's the next day. We didn't want to go inside so we walked around the store, again and again. We didn't say anything because we were all scared out of our minds. A few minutes later, a silver Volvo pulled up in the parking lot.

Me and Aly screamed just like we always did when we see a silver Volvo. But this one looked just like the Volvo in Twilight. We watched the Volvo, and then someone got out.

Who we saw made us all three scream like a few fan-girls on crack.

"Oh my God! It's Robert freaking Pattinson!" Aly yelled.

At the same time I yelled, "Rob, I love you!" And Kendra said, "Dang! He's hotter in person!"

Then we ran to him.

He was attacked by three 7th graders yelling "Rob!" and "Robert!" like crazy people.

"Um, hi, I'm Edward," he said quietly.

We screamed. Not screams of terror, but screams of...I don't even know, surprise, shock, hilarity, embarrassment, and down right _love_. We adored this man. And we just now found out he existed.

"Uh, hello," he said.

And then we hugged him. We just ran up to him and hugged him.

Kendra pulled back first. Then Aly. Then they had to pry me off of him.

"So, you know you're Edward from Twilight right?" Aly asked.

"Yeah, and I think that my family, should read this, um, Twilight."

For Aly his "family" was the magic word.

"Oh my God! You_ have_ to take us to your house! I want to meet Ja—your family," she edited.

"No you want to meet Jasper," Edward said, "I can read minds, remember?"

"Oh yeah, huh, that's gonna be _really _awkward," Aly said.

"Why would that be awkward?" Edward asked.

"Oh it won't be—unless you mind me daydreaming of your brother," she said.

"Okay, maybe it _will _be awkward...,"

**AN Sorry, it's so short, and stupid and stuff, it's late and my head hurts. You know how _that_ goes. Well, I'm like _SO_ extremely sorry this chapter wasn't funny like, at all. It was actually kind of scary...Ya know? Oh my God! Who loves Stalker-Edward? _I _love Stalker-Edward! Yeah, and if your wondering how he knew all that stuff, well, he's Edward, he's a mind reader! They're staying at a hotel like 2 miles away from the Cullen's house.**

**And guess what!**

**I want this to happen _so _ bad! I don't just _want _to meet Jasper! I _need _to meet Jasper. But since he isn't real (*sob*) I'll just have to make do with Jackson Rathbone! (*wink wink*) Haha! Well, yeah, review please! And don't drop the story just because this last chapter sucked _please!_ Thanks! Well uh, bye!**

**~_Alyssa!_**


	3. You like Green Day!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! Poor me!**

**Alyssa's POV:**

We were in the car with a complete stranger. A complete stranger that just so happened to be a freaking vampire. And guess what! We didn't even care. But why we didn't care? Well, we didn't care, because even though he was a vampire we knew pretty much _everything_ about him. So technically he _wasn't _a stranger per say. But still! I wondered if everyone from Twilight existed. I hoped so!

Edward started fiddling with a the CD player. Then he turned the music up.

I screamed.

"You like Green Day?! Oh my _God!_ I _love _Green Day! They are the second best band in the _whole wide world!_ Oh my Green Day! I can't believe this! Aaahhhh! You like Green Day!" I just rambled on, and on.

In the back seat, Cammie and Kendra groaned. They liked hip-hop. The terrible music with no feel, no meaning. And honestly! What kind of respectable man calls a woman, "Shawty"?

"Amen," Edward said.

I looked at him, and we both laughed. I listened to his laugh, wow Bella was right. He did have a hot laugh.

"Hot laugh?" he asked.

"Well, yeah," I said as if it was obvious. I grabbed the knob and turned the volume up louder. I sang along in my head.

_I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone_

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines  
What's f***ed up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone  
I walk a...

I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone... 

"I _love _that song!" I squealed.

"So do I," Edward said.

"Aaahhhh! I can't get over that!"

"I can tell," Kendra muttered from the backseat.

"Whatever!" I said, not letting there lack of knowledge in good music bring me down.

Holiday came on next. I loved this one too!

Cammie groaned.

"What your upset because Chris Brown isn't playing?" I asked.

"Yeah," Cammie said.

And Kendra said, "Pretty much."

I waved them off.

"So, have you ever seen, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?" I asked Edward.

He shook his head.

"Robert Pattinson's in it," I told him, "The guy that plays you in Twilight."

"Oh," Edward said.

Since the Cullen's drove so fast we we're there already. The house looked nothing like it did in the movie. But the book had it spot-on.

I ran to the door, but Edward beat me. Stupid vampire.

"Any time," he said.

He opened the door, and I walked through. There stood Jasper standing next to the rest of the Cullen's, but at the moment I didn't care about them.

"JASPER!" I screamed.

I tackled him. I figured he would be all "I want to suck your blood!" but instead he was very nice and professional about some random human hugging him. He even hugged me back.

"I _love _you sooo much!" I squealed.

"Um, thank you?" he said uncertainly, and politely disentangled himself from my embrace.

"I'm sorry," I said more in control of myself. "It's just finding out you guys exist, and I know you have trouble with the whole vegetarian thing, well I'm sure it got better after the whole Bella incident, and all, and I'm sorry, I'm just _really_ sorry it's just you're my favorite, and I just—I'm sorry I think, that maybe I should introduce myself, I'm Alyssa," I said, and stuck out my hand for him to shake.

He shook it with a smile on his gorgeous face.

"And I'm Jasper, which you already know."

I started giggling like I do every time someone mentions Johnny Depp.

Alice was standing next to him, I turned to her after my uncontrollable giggles had finally been managed. I think Jasper helped with that.

"Hi, Alice," I said.

"Hi, Alyssa!" she said, then she hugged me I hugged her back. We were about the same height, and we were jumping in circles with each other.

"You're my favorite girl, in Twilight, Alice."

"Aww! Thanks, Alyssa!"

I started introducing myself to everyone, there. When I got to Emmett I experienced one of his famous Emmett, bone-crushing hugs.

"I'm human, Em!" I warned Emmett.

"Oh, I know!" he said.

Carlisle spoke up, "I think she's warning you that she's in pain, Emmett,"

"Good one, Doc!" I said to Carlisle.

Kendra and Cammie we're living it up talking to all of them.

As was I.

**My battery is dead so I'm gonna have to cut this short guys! Next chapter will be out soon I hope! Thanks for reading! WOO-HOO!**

**~_Alyssa!_**


	4. Makeovers!

**AN 'Ello, readers.**

**Here's the next chapter, loveys. Oh, and it's my POV!**

I pinched my arm.

"Ouch!" I yelped.

"What?" Kendra, Bella, and Edward asked.

"That hurt!"

"Well then, why did you pinch yourself?" Kendra asked.

"Because I thought I was dreaming...," Everyone started giving me weird looks.

"What?!" I screamed.

"Oh, nothing, nothing...," everyone trailed off.

"Yall suck," I said, angry. Then I realized what I said. "Except you Jasper!"

He laughed. Aah! I made Jasper _laugh_!

"You've made me laugh before," Edward pointed out.

"And us!" Kendra and Cammie chimed in. Yeah, well no duh! I almost made Kendra pee her pants once. Well, she brought it on herself! She's the one that wanted to smell Michael Jackson.

"Um, earth to Lyssa!" Kendra said, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Sorry," I said, "You know, if you ever don't feel like snapping you can always jack Billie Joe's weed, and throw it at me."

Kendra burst out laughing, along with Edward.

_There's that hot laugh_, I told Edward in my head.

Everyone else didn't get it. They just stared at us with looks that said, WTF?!

"Care to explain?" Edward said.

"C'mon! How do you _not _know Billie Joe Armstrong?!" It was the WTF looks all over again. "You know Green Day right? _Right?!_ Oh my God! The _band?!_"

"Oh!" they all said in unison. Yeah, oh!

"You know the lead singer?! Billie Joe Armstrong!"

"Oh!" they all said again. God! They are killing me. They really don't know good music!

"Oh well!" I said, exasperated.

Suddenly Alice screamed, "Makeovers!"

"Ugh!" I groaned, "Alice, _please_ don't girlify me!"

"Ugh, fine!" she said, the she muttered something under her breath.

"Well, I'm excited!" said Cammie.

"Of course you are! You're all _girly_," I said with disgust.

"So am I!" Kendra said.

"Yeah, well I'm _not_!" I said, "So, Alice, will not make me girly! Correct?"

Alice nodded.

***

"So how much make-up do you usually use?" Alice asked me. Kendra was getting her make-over done by Rosalie. Cammie was getting hers by Bella.

"A ton!" I told her.

"What do you use?" she asked me.

"Eyeliner."

"What else?"

"Uh, nothing, just eyeliner," I told her.

She was disbelieving.

"But I thought you said you wore a ton!"

"Yeah, a ton of eyeliner!" I told her.

"Oh, well not tonight."

"Yes tonight!" I said outraged.

"Ugh, you need to be girlier!"she retorted.

"Naw, I don't think so."

"Whatever."

It was silent for quite sometime. I decided to break it.

"Ugh, your aggravating me Alice!" she didn't say anything. "Fine! Girl me up!"

"Aah! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she screamed.

"Whatever."

***

Alice announced she was done. I looked in the mirror. I was scared. I had closed my eyes, so I slowly opened them. I wasn't exactly happy with what I saw. _Way_ too girly. More black, and it would be perfect, like, _all _black. But I didn't want to be mean to Alice. So I put a smile on my face.

"Alice! I love it! I look _adorable!_"

"Thank you, thank you. Hold your applause!" she said. Cocky much?

It was a black and blue ruffled shirt with a black bow around the middle. I had a black and blue striped cardigan over it. I had on black Uggs. Black skinny jeans. And a blue knit hat, that covered a small portion of my side swept bangs.

"C'mon let's go see what the other girls look like!" Alice said. She was more excited than I was.

Bella and Cammie emerged from a door down the hall.

Cammie was in a pink leopard-print sleeveless shirt. She had on a black and pink striped cardigan. Torn skinny jeans. And pink felt heels.

Kendra came out with Rosalie from thee other end of the hall.

She also had on skinny jeans. She had on a purple tank top. And a mini purple cardigan. Purple wedges. Very Kendra-ish.

"You guys look great," We all said at the same time. We laughed.

"Time to PARTAAAAAAY!" Emmett screamed, running down the hall, butt naked.

Uhh...

"Woo! Give me a piece of that!" Kendra muttered under her breath. Then she realized Emmett was a vampire, he could hear her, yeah nice one Kendra!

I bust out laughing.

"!" I laughed.

And people say I'm emo! Huh, Emo Girl just laughed! Score 1 for Alyssa!

I finally controlled myself enough to ask, "So,what was all this for?"

"For the party of course!" Alice said, reminding me a lot of Luna Lovegood.

I nearly passed out. I'm not exactly one for parties. I don't like being around a lot of people all at once. Okay, listen, I know what you're thinking, but I'm _not_ antisocial! I swear.

"Uh, okay," I said and walked away. I could hear the other girls cheers and yelps of joy. Well, it's not _my_ fault I'm not normal.

"Hello," Renesmee said, as I walked into the living room. She did have a high voice. Loser. Edward growled from the couch.

"Shush it, Eddie-boy," I said, hoping it would grate on his nerves.

"Good job," Edward said.

I smirked.

I heard the doorbell ring. This time it was Edward's turn to smirk. I wondered why.

"I'll get it!" I announced.

I ran to the door and yanked it open.

There, standing at the door, was the person I hated most in this world.

And as soon as I saw him, I attacked. Aiming for the kill.

**AAAAAHHHHHH! I wonder who it is! Actually no I don't I know who it is because I'm writing this, but...ya, know?! Same difference!**

**Who loves it?! _I_ love it! Who's with me?! If your with me, you know what you'll do?! You'll review! Please and thank-you!**

**Lots of love,**

**~_Alyssa!_**

**P.S. I love you.**


	5. Author's Note! Sorry, guys!

**AN**

**OMC You guys, I am SO extremely sorry! This isn't a chapter. I know you guys were thinking, "Holy shizz! She updated _already_?! That's twice in one night! But, sorry no, I was re-reading my story, and I noticed that I didn't tell you guys something. The pictures for our outfits for the party, are on my profile. Again I'm _so_ frigging sorry, I forgot! _Please,_ forgive me!**

**Lots of love,**

**~_Alyssa!_**

**P.S. I love you.**


	6. The Party

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Sucks right?**

**Alyssa's POV:**

Of course, when your in a house, with a psychic they're going to stop you from doing something wrong. Even if you want it really bad. And I wanted this really bad.

I wanted to kill Jacob Black.

That's right. You heard me. I want to kill Jacob Black. But, no I can't do that killing is wrong. Ugh, crap like this kills me. So right now I'm standing here with my hands pinned behind my back by tiny little Alice. And Jacob is standing at the door with a very confused look on his extremely hot face. Yeah, extremely hot face. He may be a jerk but he's pretty darn sexy. Well, Taylor Lautner is I don't know about Jacob. But anyway I'm kicking my legs trying to kick him in his "area." Ugh, stupid future-seeing vampire. I started singing the theme song to "That's So Raven" except I change Raven to Alice. This distracted Edward and he said, "Alice it's okay, you can let her go."

"Thank you," I said in an annoyed tone, to Alice who had just set me down. Then I turned to Jacob, boy was he in for the lecture of the century. This was gonna get put in History books.

"I don't know who you think you are, you little jerk but your lucky, that the people in this room are vampires. Well, I dunno if you would count that little half-breed. Oh my God, I sound like Umbridge! But anyway you seriously need to get your act together mister. God, now I sound like your mother. Ooh! That was low! Hmm, get over it," and I ranted on and on about how it was completely terrible of him, to what he did to Bella. About how he threatened to kill Edward a multitude of times. Doesn't he know what that would do to Bella? To what it _did_ do to her by even mentioning it? Apparently not.

And then I got side-tracked and asked, "Why are you here anyway, mongrel?"

"For the party," he said in a throaty voice. Eww, a throaty voice? That's kind of gross. It reminded me of the dude from Kings Of Leon. I got a little preoccupied imagining Jacob singing Use Somebody. Apparently is was quite funny, considering how Edward was guffawing. Oh, how I love the word guffaw. It's such a lovely word.

Cammie and Kendra were making there way downstairs to see what all the hubbub was about. I love the word hubbub too. I was surprised that none of the other Cullen's came down. I wondered if this kind of thing was normal for them. It would probably be normal in my house. And I would of course blame my horrendous brother. Jacob. Yeah, his name is Jacob too. How unfortunate. Thinking of Jacob got me thinking of my family. What were we going to do? I knew that I wasn't welcome to, but I wanted to stay with the Cullen's forever. Even if it meant never seeing my family again. My other friends. I would miss Kasey, Caleb, Ivanna, and Athena the most. Of course I could always text and call them. Or talk to them on MySpace, and Facebook. Perhaps, video chat. I wondered where the party was going to be held. I decided to voice my question.

"Where's this shindig gonna be at anyways?"

Edward was the one to answer me, of course he was he's Edward. Mr. Know-It-All.

"Well, thanks," he said in a sarcastic tone of voice. I rolled my eyes. _Anytime_, I thought.

"Anyway, the party will be at the Shanterling Inn, room 204," he informed me. **(AN I don't know if such a place exists, because I made it up, so hang in there!) **Okay, wow a hotel. Fancy schmancy. A thought came to me. "What are we going to do about our parents?" I asked.

"Um, we could tell them we went to a movie," Kendra suggested.

"Okay, that will work," Cammie said. I nodded. We all pulled out our cell phones simultaneously. I sifted through my contacts until I found "Mommy." I pressed, "send message."

_Mommy, me Cammie and Kendra are gonna go see a movie up in Port Angeles. We are walking there. I will send you a text when we get out of the movie, okay? We've got cash, don't worry, we won't spend it _all_ on popcorn! Bye Mommy, ILY!_

"Okay! Let's hit the road!" Cammie said.

"Let's hit the road, Jack! And don't you come back! No more, no m—" I was starting to get weird looks, so I broke off. "What?" I asked. No response. Whatever.

"C'mon," Kendra said and stalked off towards Emmett's Jeep Wrangler. I love Jeeps. Emmett hopped in the driver's seat, and me, Cammie, and Kendra, all crowded in to the backseat. Rosalie got shotgun. All the other Cullen's—and Hale's in Jasper's case—got in the other cars.

Emmett drove like a freaking maniac.

He earned a lot of horns and even a few fingers. That reminded me of that time, in the car on the way to Nags Head. Haha, funny stuff. And Grace yelling at that gay dude. Telling him to "Work it girl!" Ah, good times, good times.

We were pulling into the parking lot of the Shanterling Inn, which apparently Alice had made reservations to, a while back. We got out of Emmett's Jeep, we could hear the blaring music from the floor up ahead, as soon as we got into the lobby. Alice walked to the front desk got us our room key, and led the way to the elevator. I internally happy-danced. I love elevators. I love how on your way up you sometimes get that weird sensation that your stomach has disappeared from inside of you. Me and the other walked the halls until we found room 204. Alice was right behind us, along with the other Cullen's. She took the key card and slid it in, into the door lock. When the light flashed green, she twisted the handle and opened the door. Lights and music came pouring out of the huge room. It was like a hotel room only bigger. This place was huge. You could fit around sixty+ people in here. And they would have plenty of room. There was purple, orange, blue, green, and hot pink lights swerving around the whole room, just like they do in the clubs. And there was hideously loud hip-hop music blasting out of the two huge speakers someone had placed on either side of the large room. And we could just barely hear a crowd cheering downstairs in the lobby, it was getting louder they must be in the elevator. We could hear the elevator _ding_ as it reached our floor. I looked down the hall, and tons of teenagers came running down the halls, screaming. This was gonna be quite some night.

I noticed that the loudest, person running down the hall, was none other than Mike Newton. The golden retriever. I wondered if he was _really_ that annoying. Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to see Edward. "He is," he said nodding, obviously referring to my unspoken question.

I laughed. Edward smiled, then walked away. I set off to go find Kendra, and Cammie. They were talking to Jessica. Oh, this should be good.

"...too young to be at a party, for like older adults, like, like us." Jessica was saying.

Cammie was about to say something but when I walked up, I held my hand up, to silence her.

"Okay, listen up _Jessica"—_I said her name with disgust—"we don't care how old you may think we are. Because we're just to consumed with never ending joy, that you can think at all. So I suggest you go find your precious little golden retriever of a boyfriend, Mikey, before he spikes the drinks."

She thought about it for a minute, cocking her head to the side, looking like a retard, then said in a happy tone of voice, "M'kay!"

"By the way, we're twelve!" I yelled after her retreating figure.

What. An. Idiot.

Me, Cammie, and Kendra danced for a bit, then, I announced I had a headache then went to sit down in the hall. Kendra offered to come with me but I told her it was fine, and that she should go ahead, and have fun. I sat in the hall for like 5 minutes, until I started to nod off. I tried to keep myself up by sifting through the pictures I had taken on my phone. Wait! My phone? Holy crap! I forgot about my mom! I sent her a quick text saying we were out of the movie and told her we would be at the hotel in a few. I ran into the party room, told Kendra and Cammie of the dilemma, and we set off to go find a vampire. A vampire that could run us off at super speed to go to the hotel.

After searching for what felt like hours I found Jasper. I told him of the problem, we got outside and Kendra was there with Emmett. And Cammie with Edward. They threw us on their backs, and they ran to the hotel. Bella was right. It was like a bullet, like a ghost. And it did feel like I was stupidly sticking my head out of the window of a plane in flight. We were at the hotel, in barely anytime at all. We got off their backs, said our thanks, and made our way up to the hotel we were currently staying at. Our parents were asking us how the movie was, did we have fun, etc. We went up to my room in the hotel, and we talked about all that had happened that day. And we talked about how incredibly, and extremely lucky we were. And then we talked about how unfortunate we were, that this had to end. But it was great while it lasted. That is if we never saw them again. I didn't know it right then. But we would see them tomorrow. And it would possibly be even more adventurous than today. I gently drifted to sleep, again imagining Jacob singing Kings Of Leon. Man, that boy can't sing!

**AN.**

**THIS IS NOT THE END. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT THE END!**

**Sorry guys if you read this and you thought that this was the last chapter. Because, I assure you it is far from it! The way I left off this chapter definitely seemed like it was the end of the story.** **Which it isn't! I was trying to make the chapter longer, and it just kind of happened. Sorry, if there was any confusion! And I love you guys more than you can ever know. Just for reviewing! Reviewing in my eyes, is magical! And I used to think that author's on FF were crazy, with all the begging for reviews, and all. But that was when I was only a reader. Now I'm a writer, and I'm doing the same thing! And I had sworn to myself that I wasn't going to be like that. Wow! I went and lied to myself. Myself is going to be very angry with me!**

**I know, I need medical help. Haha!**

_**Alyssa!**_

**P.S. I love you.**


	7. Walmart and Food Fights

**AN. Hello Poptart! I was drinking some strawberry milk a few seconds ago, and I got to thinking I haven't updated this story in FOREVER! So, here we go! Oh, I would like to mention that I am dedicating this chapter to strawberry milk. THANK YOU FOR THE INSPIRATION!**

**Alyssa's POV:**

I woke up to my cell phone vibrating in my ear. _Buzz, buzz, buzz! _At first I thought it was a bee. So I screamed. I do not like bees. Me and bees do not get along. One time my ex boyfriend was trying to be all macho and kill a bee. So he went to stomp on it, and he missed. Yeah, he's an idiot. So, anyway, the bee got all confuzzled, and it attacked me! It stung me on the leg. Meanie. So I got one on those Popsicles that are in the plastic case and you push it up from the bottom. Well, I didn't cut the top so I used that instead of ice. See? My leg gets special treatment!

_Anyway_, I picked up my cell phone, and saw I had a text from Alice.

_Are yous cumzin ova? _It said. Wow, nice grammar Al. Has she gone gangster?

I slid open my phone and typed in a yes. I looked over at Cammie, she usually slept in til like, I dunno 1-ish? Kendra got up at 8 on weekends, 5 on weekdays. And if I wasn't woken up, I always woke up at 9-ish. I started shaking Cammie's shoulders and Kendra looked at me and smirked.

"You try," I told her.

She got up and bent down, and in Cammie's ear whispered, "Hey, baby."

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle the laughter.

"M mm," Cammie said incoherently.

"Cammie, Edward's waiting!" I said in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, I am," Kendra said in a deeper voice, than her own.

"Eddie?" Cammie asked.

"Oh, yes, Cammie, it's me! I want a kiss!" Kendra exclaimed, then started making kissing noises in her ear.

Cammie puckered her lips.

And that was just too much for me. I burst in to loud guffaws not even trying to contain the laughter. It was too much, the hilarity was overwhelming. Cammie's eyes flitted open, she found me and Kendra lying on the floor braying like mules. The laughter eventually died down, but started back up again—albeit nowhere near as bad—when Cammie innocently asked, "What did I miss?" sleepily.

"Babe, c'mon we gotta go," I ordered Cammie.

"Ugh, let me sleep!" she wined.

"Edward will be there...," Kendra trailed off tauntingly, which caused me to laugh.

"Maybe Alice will take us shopping," I offered, and I didn't even know, _what_ we were doing today. Maybe we would go shopping, well, I didn't know.

"Okay, fine, I'm getting up!" she said, she got up and stretched.

"Kendra, yo, c'mon!" I yelled.

"Did you just say 'yo'?" she asked.

"Oh, God! Yall are rubbing off on me!" I said, with mock-horror.

Kendra sighed.

"Whatever," I mumbled. "So, what are you gonna wear?" I asked Kendra.

"Purple," she responded. Of course. I hate purple.

She started darting around the room grabbing things from random drawers, almost all of them being—purple. She ran in to the bathroom and came out in record time.

She was wearing a purple shirt that was slightly scrunched at the bottom, skinny jeans, and purple high tops. She had on a mini jacket, that had a purple and black checkered pattern.** (Picture on profile)**

My turn!

I went through, drawer after drawer trying to find the right pieces. Aha! Got it. I ran into the bathroom and took off my pajamas. My favorite, Twilight shirt, that Cammie had given me, and my Spongebob Squarepants pajama bottoms. I slipped on my outfit and walked out. I looked fabulous if I do say so myself. I was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt. A black and gray checkered bomber jacket from American Eagle. Black skinny jeans of course, my number one necessity. And black quilted, flats with a bow on top. Awesome!

"I like it!" Kendra said, "but it needs more—," I cut her off.

"Purple?" I asked.

"Exactly." she said. I wondered if she realized how tiresomely predictable she was. But I love her anyways. No homo!

Cammie suddenly emerged from the other room, dressed in head-to-toe pink. Pink skinny pants. Pink sleeveless shirt. Pink bag with the words "Juicy Couture" printed in silver across the front. Pink and gray checkered coat over top of it, and to top it all off pink deathtraps that I would surely break my ankle in. **(All outfits on my profile)**

"Wow, Cammie feeling pink today?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. She was still tired.

***

The next thing I knew I was at the Cullen's house. Sitting in there living room discussing a simple topic like it was a national debate. We were discussing the enthralling topic of what foods and drinks sisn't go well together.

"Chinese food and chocolate milk," I threw out there.

Nods of approval from Cammie and Kendra. I didn't know where the Cullen's were. Bella and Edward were probably in there little shack. I still couldn't believe Bella liked that thing. I started snickering to myself.

"What?" the others asked.

"Nothing," I said.

I mean Esme had an amazing ability to decorate houses but...well, the shack sucks. But I still loved Esme! I mean she nice enough to always have the fridge stocked. And not for Renesmee's sake either, Renesmee had moved on to blood. But that got me thinking, "_Gee, I'm hungry!_" Well, I didn't say "gee" I mean, c'mon, who says _that_ anymore? Edward, I'll bet. I got up off the couch, and headed for the kitchen still laughing. Kendra and Cammie were still talking about foods and drinks. I headed for the refrigerator got out strawberry syrup, and milk. Ooh! I smell brownies. I grabbed one and as I was walking out of the kitchen I heard Cammie say, "Strawberry milk and brownies,"

Oh. My. God. I started laughing hard. Irony was just so funny to me.

"What?" Cammie asked. I showed her what I was eating, and drinking.

"That's gross," Cammie and Kendra said together.

Oh. No. They. Didn't.

"You bitches!" I screamed. I threw my brownie in Kendra's face, and ran over to Cammie and poured my drink over her head.

"What the crap?!" she yelled.

"It's pink!" I said feigning innocence, "I thought it would compliment your outfit!"

If she wasn't so mad she would have laughed. I could see the rage about to emit out of her. I needed back up.

_Edward! Edward, I need back up! C'mon, quit getting down with Bella and come save me from this crazy psychopath! Please! C'mon! Hurry up! _I yelled in my head.

He and Bella were here in a matter of seconds.

"What?!" he asked, looking annoyed.

"I'm sorry I ruined yours and Bella's "private time" but I kinda need help!" I said using air quotes to emphasize "private time."

"With?" Bella prompted.

"WITH THIS MANIAC!" I screamed, exasperated. I was pointing at Cammie, and backing away from her like she could actually hurt me.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and—Ah!—Jasper arrived at the scene. I'm sure Emmett and Rosalie were a little "busy."

Cammie and Kendra both were shooting me death glares. I did what any rational person would do.

I ran for it.

I ran like mad. I ran as fast as I could with my limbs flopping around like I had no control of them.

Since I got a head start, I was far from Cammie and Kendra. But since I was slow, and clumsy, they would be caught up in no time. So I ran around the house once then flew to the kitchen. I yanked open the refrigerator and grabbed the gallon of milk, I held it in my hands and thought, then decided against it. I put it back in the refrigerator and grabbed the bottle of ketchup and the bottle of mustard, I made sure the tabs were off—they were. Now I stood here with my condiments pointed toward the door, ready for when they arrived.

Kendra burst through the door first then Cammie, I squirted Cammie with mustard, and Kendra with ketchup. It was actually pretty funny to watch there faces to see the shock.

I ran through the door, while they wiped the gunk off there faces.

"Jasper! Drive me to Walmart!" I ordered. I'm sure he was confused but he quickly obliged. We hopped on the back of the motorcycle Edward had bought in Eclipse. He sped down the road to the nearest Walmart. I ran in, and he followed, at a human pace of course, and I ran to the food section to hide. As soon as I stopped I sat down in the middle of an aisle of canned foods and Jasper asked, "What are we doing?"

"We're hiding from Cammie, and Kendra," I told him. "I expect Edward or someone will come with them to find us, to make it fair,"

"Yes, probably," Jasper replied. We just sat there in comfortable silence until the chaos began.

There was Edward and Bella on one side of the aisle, and Kendra and Cammie on the other, and they were all holding water guns.

I decided it was safer to go up against two crazy 12 year old's, rather than two vampires.

So me and Jasper both ran through Cammie and Kendra. On my way through I knocked down Cammie's squirt gun, and said, "I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun!" and then I ran.

My moment of stalling had caused Kendra to squirt me in the back, but it was worth seeing Cammie's face.

Me and Jasper ran to the changing rooms. "You know that list of "Things To Do In Walmart?" I asked him. He nodded. "Let's do it!" I said excitedly.

"Okay," he said, only slightly less enthusiastic.

"I'll go first," I told him, and went into a changing room, after a few minutes I yelled as loud as possible, "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"

I then stomped off angrily, tugging Jasper by the hand.

I was walking with Jasper, and I saw the posters, "Ooh! Ooh! Let's see if there's any Twilight posters!" I went through all of them and I saw a familiar poster, all of the Cullen's and Bella standing there.

"See, Jazzy? I told you all this was real," I pointed to him, "Don't you look scrumptious?" I asked with out thinking. He looked at me, and it looked like he was trying not to laugh.

I went really red, "Sorry, that was weird."

He laughed.

We walked through Walmart, no sign of Edward, Bella, Kendra, or Cammie. They were looking for us at human pace, so I could understand them not finding us, we _did_ get a head start after all. But then I remembered Edward reads minds, I bet he was reading my mind right then. That little cheater.

_BUTT-HOLE! _I screamed at him in my head. I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around expecting to see Jasper, but there he was, none other than Edward Cullen.

I ran. Again. Minus the flapping arms this time though. I expect that would be quite disturbing. I turned around as I was running to see if Edward was following me, but before I could see anything I ran into something. Something hard. I looked to see who it was—Bella. Ugh.

I screamed in her face.

Jasper was laughing so hard you would have thought he was high. Can vampires even get high? Oh, well, I'll find out later. I'm sure Emmett will know.

I ran to the place where they had little kid toy stuff. Wait! Where was Jasper? I looked around and he was no where to be seen. Ugh, I'll find him later.

I started humming the Mission Impossible theme song as I sneaked around the toy aisles. I grabbed two of those Hulk punching fist things and ripped off the packaging and put them on. I ran as fast as I could to the scrapbooking section, and grabbed some scissors. I went to the big rope cage thing where they had all the huge bouncy balls. I cut the string holding them all in, and they collapsed out. I used my rad soccer skills, which I don't have, and kicked every single one in the same direction, all the while still wearing the Hulk hands. I was proud of myself I didn't trip once. Scratch that, _more_ than once. I was running along until I saw something that made me stop, that something being Kendra and Cammie.

I picked up every ball I could and started throwing them at the girls. One hit Kendra smack in the face. I laughed, and pointed at her face like an ignorant 2nd grader.

"Go, Pikachu, go! I screamed as I started throwing balls, willy-nilly. Passing bystanders...well, let's just say I'm sorry they had to witness this. I was surprised no one had come to stop us yet.

I felt my hands being pulled behind my back in what felt like handcuffs.

I turned around to see Charlie standing behind me.

Damn, I just jinxed myself.

Well, I did what they do in movies, I screamed, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS!" And then I thought, as they were dragging me away to the police cruiser, _Actually, they kind of _did_ take me alive._

**AN. He he, reviews make me update faster! This chapter was long so, technically, you guys owe me!**

**~_Lyssa_**

**P.S. I love you.**


	8. Charlie Chats

**Haven't updated in what feels like _years_. Sorry, my sexy people. So here is an absolutely _awesometastic_ chapter of You're Telling Me They're Real?!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the hotness that is Twilight. But I do own Charlie because Charlie is pure awesome. Okay! I don't own Charlie either, but he is pretty awesometastic!**

"Yo, Charlie, babe!" I called to the cop.

"Yeah?"

"You mind like you know _not_ arresting me?!" I asked, well, yelled.

"No, arresting people makes me as jolly as a roger!"

"Are you high?"

"Okay, you're definitely going to juvie now!"

"Seriously?!"

"No, I'm just scaring you."

"You want me to scare you?!"

"You can't scare me!"

"Werewolf, werewolf, werewolf!" I yelled.

"Are _you _high?" he asked and I was still chanting my werewolf song.

"Jacob is a werewolf, la la la!"

"You're _not_ scaring me!"

"Okay...BELLA IS A VAMPIRE, AND SO ARE ALL OF THE CULLEN'S!" I screamed.

Charlie started to scream like a fan girl.

"La la la la la! Snape, Snape, Severus Snape...DUMBLEDORE!"

I was sitting in Charlie's cop cruiser wedged in the back in between Cammie and Kendra singing the "Mysterious Ticking Noise," (That was my jam!)

"So, Chuck, were are you taking us?" I asked.

"Uh, it's Charlie..."

"Yeah, well I'm assuming your real name is Charles?"

"Yes..."

"Well," I said obviously, "Chuck is short for Charles—I would know my Granddad's name is Charles. And guess what his middle name is! Edward!"

"Ugh, Edward."

"DID YOU JUST _DISS_ EDWARD?!" me and Cammie yelled.

"Well, like, yeah, I mean Bella so totally should have been with Jacob, hello!"

"Well, too bad," I started, "Jacob ended up with Nessie, there gonna get married and have half-vampire, half-human, half-werewolf, puppy, baby things."

"That _pervert_! Tell me more!"

"No, I'm still on Twilight!" Kendra yelled.

"Oh, okay, never mind!" Charlie said.

"So where are we going?" I asked him.

He didn't answer me.

"Yo, Chuck!"

"Huh—What?"

"Where are we going homie?"  
"My house."

"What?! That place only has _one_ bathroom!"

"Sorry," Charlie apologized.

We drove some more and then before I knew it we were at the house. We walked in and Sue Clearwater was there...uh, ew.

"You're late!" she said in a manner that reminded me of a principle.

I got Charlie—I mean Chuck—into this mess, I was gonna get him out of it. "Um, sorry, we were...knitting tea cozies for elderly ninjas."

"Oh! You are _so_ sweet! Now whenever ninjas get home they can expect warm tea! It's so tiring shooting poisonous darts at your enemy's neck!" Sue crowed.

"Yeah, because you would know _all_ about it," I muttered, walking upstairs to Bella's room with Kendra and Cammie trailing behind.

**I'm sorry it's short!!! I'm trying to update _everything_! It's some tiring jank, dudes! Yeah, well...um, review my sexy people! Thanks.**

**~Lyssa.!**

**P.S. I love you.**


	9. Jasper's Sarcasm

"Ew, Cammie, look at Bella's room!" I squealed.

"It's so hideous!" she squealed back.

"You guys are mean!" Kendra told us.

Well, as true as that may or may not be, Bella's old room was ugly, nonetheless.

"Okay, so as you guys know," I started, sitting on Bella's ratty old bed, "Our vacation is almost over. We _need_ to come up with an excuse to stay here."

"Yeah, we do." Cammie agreed.

Kendra nodded warily.

"So, I've been thinking about some ideas. And my personal favorite is, we tell our parents we want to go to a boarding school here, and we just live with the Cullen's...mm Jazzy...and just go to Forks Middle."

"I like it," Cammie said.

"Hmm, it's a nice idea...I like it too. I just don't know if I want to go with it." Kendra admitted.

"You _don't know_ if you want to live with the _Cullen's_ or not?!" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah...,"

"Oh my Jasper, Kendra! You'll enjoy it, I swear!" I promised.

"Okay...I guess." she gave in.

I got my phone out of my pocket. I called my mom's number.

"Hello?"

"Momma? Um, !" I rushed out, thinking the quicker I say it the more open she will be to the idea.

"What?"

I sighed and said slowly, "Me Kendra and Cammie want to go to a boarding school here in Forks...,"

"Okay, that's fine. We're leaving tomorrow, anyway. Come tell me goodbye."

"Okay!"

What. The. Crap. Was. That?

She just agreed to it?! Holy shizz!

"Girls...WE'RE STAYING IN FORKS!!!" I screamed.

We all started to scream, and me and Cammie jumped up and down in each others arms. I couldn't believe it. _We_ couldn't believe it.

I called Jasper's number (which I had stolen from Alice's phone) and he answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Jasper! It's Alyssa! We're staying in Forks."

"Yeah, I know. Who do you think made it possible?"

"Whoa! Santa Claus?!"

"No! Me! I'm standing outside your hotel, making all of your parents...agreeable."

"No way! How did you know we were gonna call?"

"Ali—,"

"No! Don't tell me! Let me guess!"

"Okay."

"Alice, right?"

"No," he said, sarcastically.

"Your sarcasm hurts."

"I'm sorry, I'm just in a bad mood, because of the annoyed people in the hotel."

"It's okay. And thanks a billion, Jazzy."

"Your welcome."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Jasper's awesome," I told the girls.

**AN I know it's short, I had to update though.**

**I like reviews.**

**~Lyssa.**


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